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| Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets,meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian. Mustbe able to keep a secret. Mormon male looking for one or more females for along-term relationship. Must have childbearing hipsand be willing to give birth to at least fourchildren. Catholics need not apply. Single, unemployed female with several children out ofwedlock is looking for a sugar daddy to support mychildren and me. Skills include nose-wiping and diaper-changing. Earplugs included. No experience necessary. Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing.If you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or waryof long expeditions, don't apply. Single, white, affluent male starting a savage cult;orders submissive, obedient followers to worship andpraise my every move. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Ready? OK! Collegiate cheerleader looking forquarterback to bring his helmet, pads, and offensiveline to bed. First and ten! Do it again! |
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