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	DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metalbar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flingsyour beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stainedheirloom piece you were drying. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under theworkbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earnedguitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "YEOWW! ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holesuntil you die of old age. SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation ofblood-blisters. The most often the tool used by all women. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minortouch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija boardprinciple. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal yourfuture becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intensewelding heat to the palm of your hand. WELDING GLOVES: Heavy-duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction ofintense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammableobjects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside thewheel hub you want the bearing race out of. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars andmotorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or1/2 inchsocket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes. TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch woodprojectiles for testing wall integrity. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground afteryou have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmlyunder the bumper. EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward offof a trapped hydraulic jack handle. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires. RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops toscare neophytes into choosing another line of work. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength ofeverything you forgot to disconnect. CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicablyhas an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle. AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids andfor opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on yourshirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillipsscrew heads. Women excel at using this tool. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used toconvert common slotted screws into non-removable screws. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is usedas a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to theobject we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes inwalls when hanging pictures. Also used as replacement for screwdriver. MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboardcartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contentssuch as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collectormagazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful forslicing work clothes, but only while in use. DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage whileyelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the nexttool that you will need.